I've been away. I thought about apologizing or making some lame excuse or otherwise trying to make it make sense, but I've decided that's a waste of space. In fact, trying to figure out how to get back into this has been a block of its own. After being gone so long I wasn't at all sure how to go about coming back. Like I went out for a little walk and I just kept going and now I'm trying to explain that really, I wasn't abducted and I wasn't trying to run away or anything I just kept walking. Really. Like Forrest Gump going for a little run. So instead I decided I'd just walk back in like it was no big deal.
Hello there! Been waiting long? How about some tea?
And frankly, if family news were hair I would be Cousin It right now. Or one of those pitiful dogs on Animal Precinct with fur so long and matted that they can barely move. You've never watched it? Yeah, well, I figured as much. You'll have to trust me. At this point there's no combing through it all: the only solution is to shave it off and start fresh. And while I thought I might begin by hashing through my psuedo mid-life crisis I've decided that nobody really needs that. Hell, I don't need that so I'm pretty sure that you don't.
Instead I'm going to share a couple of laughs from this morning because some days the kids are so funny I just can't keep it to myself. It's how I stay sane. And today, Lexi's on a roll.
High Noon
Spencer: Is it noon? Mommy? Is it noon?
Me: (Distracted trying to read an email while sucking down enough coffee to reach a semi-conscious state) No, sweetie, it's not noon.
Spencer: Is it noon now? Is it noon now? Is it noon? Is it noon? Is it noon? Is it noon? Is it noon? (continue to repeat until your head almost pops)
Me: I just answered than question, Spencer. What did I say?
Spencer: It's not noon?
Me: Right. It's not noon. You eat lunch at noon and right now you're supposed to be eating breakfast which means that it's still morning, not noon.
Lexi: Noon is when it's 12 o-clock in the day, Spencer, and when it's 12:01 it becomes afternoon, so you'll have to eat lunch quickly.
Internal Logic in Blue's Clues
Lexi: I've noticed that in Blue's Room, Blue can talk, but when she skidoos into Blue's Clues she can't because Steve can't understand her at all.
Me: Well, maybe that's because people can't really understand dogs in real life, so Steve can't understand Blue in the show.
Lexi: But he can understand what soap is saying? And salt? And a side table? He can understand all those things but not his dog?
Of course I had snorted too much coffee up my nose to answer. I probably shouldn't have been driving at that point either. Funny kids can be a road hazard.
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